He looks odd, his hair is a disaster, he’s ill tempered, he’s better than any current American player and … he can’t write worth a hill of beans and yet is published in a major international newspaper.

In all sincerity, I don’t really have anything against Andy Murray, but this tripe he wrote in The Australian is appalling. It wreaks of elementary school reporting, in the vein of “What I did on my summer vacation.”

Please, editors of the world, do us a favor and spare us this inanity. We enjoy sports, enjoy watching incredible athletes perform incredible feats of physicality. Many of us even enjoy reading stories about those feats and the players who performed them, written by sports journalists.

Let’s end it there. We simply do not need the ramblings of said athletes published for our displeasure, and to their embarrassment (though, in all likelihood, the athletes are almost certainly surrounded by sycophants and so are deluded into believing their writing is actually up to par).

As for you Andy, if you’re reading this, take heart. We understand you are a professional tennis player, not a professional writer. You should feel no shame for writing what you did. But the next time you’re offered a gig whereby someone wants to publish your “prose”, my advice is to politely turn it down and instead buy a journal.

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